Chris Walsh (chris_walsh) wrote,
Chris Walsh

I can be better than this.

This may be a cranky post.

I'm dwelling. Dwelling on what bothers me, on what I think sucks about the world, and on what I think sucks about me. Not a happy-friendly state. And I know that, and I want to stop feeling not-happy-friendly.

(This may be a gramatically weird post, too. I write weirder when I'm tired.)

I'm tired. I've had trouble getting rested lately. The office job seems to drain my energy more than it should, whether during that work-heavy period through the middle of last Thursday or during this period of less to do. I'm not sure I like the atmosphere there. But I have to soldier through and keep my head down, and be more serious than I like to be because no one hires a temp to have an opinion or a sense of humor.

I feel snappish, and I wish I didn't. (Anna, I'd say this isn't a good night to call.) So, I can't say what I want to say to my co-workers or to blowhards on the street or on the bus, and I'm afraid I'll say unfair things to the people who do care about me. And I know you care.

This is me feeling unloved, even though dammit I KNOW I'm loved. And I don't like that feeling.

I can be better than this.

I can be better than this.
Tags: creme de la chris

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.