Chris Walsh (chris_walsh) wrote,
Chris Walsh
chris_walsh

I can be better than this.

This may be a cranky post.

I'm dwelling. Dwelling on what bothers me, on what I think sucks about the world, and on what I think sucks about me. Not a happy-friendly state. And I know that, and I want to stop feeling not-happy-friendly.

(This may be a gramatically weird post, too. I write weirder when I'm tired.)

I'm tired. I've had trouble getting rested lately. The office job seems to drain my energy more than it should, whether during that work-heavy period through the middle of last Thursday or during this period of less to do. I'm not sure I like the atmosphere there. But I have to soldier through and keep my head down, and be more serious than I like to be because no one hires a temp to have an opinion or a sense of humor.

I feel snappish, and I wish I didn't. (Anna, I'd say this isn't a good night to call.) So, I can't say what I want to say to my co-workers or to blowhards on the street or on the bus, and I'm afraid I'll say unfair things to the people who do care about me. And I know you care.

This is me feeling unloved, even though dammit I KNOW I'm loved. And I don't like that feeling.

I can be better than this.

I can be better than this.
Tags: creme de la chris
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